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Someone I know frequently says "a healthy mind forgets". Does a healthy mind forget? We know it is healthy to forgive. Is it also also healthy to forget? For example, I somehow forget the hurtful actions of another who will repeat those actions. I got back into that situation and go through the same thing all over again. What's healthy about that. On another level this could be a way to avoid negative consequences when a duty or commitment is missed. "Sorry, I missed doing that. My healthy mind forgot." Your thoughts?

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The same amazing love that became real and manifest here on earth....the Living God who is alive and well inside of me changes everything.
For me that love has on many, many occasions so in-filled me that I have been able to forgive completely. My remembrance of any occasions that might have been negative... because of forgiveness-- became flooded with love and compassion. You see, for me compassion let's my perception and rememberance change to LOVE-FILLED UNDERSTANDING of that person or situation.
Through Jesus I am able to forgive and forget every offense...not just a fool me once, fool me twice...three times I am the fool---instead for me, it is let me forgive and forget 7 times 7000. If Jesus expected us to forgive and remember....then he would have said "forgive once or twice, but after that protect your pride and don't forgive another time....never forget what they did to you " Instead He reminds us to forgive at least 14000 times. Can you forgive the second time, if you hold on?
Forgiveness to me, is the biggest act of love...it is choosing to say "forget about it". God did that for me, how can I not extend that same love....
The hardest person to forgive is yourself.
We are called to Forgive anothers' sin against us. We choose to Forgive, and God does the lifting of that unforgiveness from us. We no longer experience those ugly feelings, God is merciful to us, He relieves, and frees us from the weight and burden of unforgiveness. I don't believe we have to forget what has happened, we just aren't weighted down by it anymore. Now if the person continues to do the same thing, using that flimsey excuse "that a healthy mind forgets!" then it may be time, to move away from having to forgive them again, by not putting yourself in that situation. If a person has a habit, that they won't aknowledge is a wrong toward you, and they keep repeating it, then you now have a choice, either keep taking it or move on!
I think a lot of damage is done when the expectation is given to "Forgive and forget." I think that somehow people started combining the two actions into one and that's how forgiveness is defined - to be able to forget about it. But that isn't forgiveness. I believe that through forgiveness we can become detached from the negative emotions, etc. that were there, but sometimes I think it's healthy to remember. For instance, I struggled with an eating disorder. I needed God's forgiveness, but it's something that I think I need to remain aware of/ conscious of. To forget it would also mean that I lose sight of God's forgiveness. I also think there are times/ instances where we will forget. Forgive, YES!... Become freed from any emotional attachment to is, YES! (through the forgiveness)... Forget? Not necessarily... NOw, I'm not suggesting we "hold on" to other's sins and use them against them. 1 Corinthians 13 covers instructions on dealing with that. To remember is not to gather ammunition, act merciless, etc. IF we're doing that, we haven't experienced true forgiveness.
These are just my ramblings!
Forgive, then forgive again

Col 3:13-14 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Matt 5:44 But I tell you: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

Matt 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Repeatedly the Bible addresses this whole issue of forgiveness so there must be a deep message here for us. The Greek word charizomai, translated “forgive”, carries the idea of freely giving or granting forgiveness. It comes from the same root word charis meaning “grace”. One reason for us to forgive is that unforgiveness is a bondage that Satan uses to keep us from being joyful and effective for God. Secondly, unforgiveness is an indication that I am still wrapped up in myself. I think that I am letting the offender “off” if I forgive. Well consider this; we don’t get off that easily. If I sin by overeating, God will forgive but I will likely suffer a lifetime of medical problems. Thirdly, Christ on the cross forgave those who drove the nails through His body and there is no way that the desertion of a spouse; the abuse of a parent or any crime committed against us can come close to the killing of the Son of God. And last but not least, Jesus said, “if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:15) So, if you or I are holding on to any unforgiveness we need to follow Christ’s example and be set free from the lies of Satan to serve our Lord. AND we should encourage others to do so as well.
What is healthy? Healthy is relative and perspective- all in the mind or affect condition of body and life?

People choose their destiny when they refuse to listen and obey the merciful and good God, but to fear, decide to follow anything else other than the wonderful God of suffering and sacrifice and God of unconditional LOVE.

One should know one's health to discipline spirit, soul and body. If one knew one's health is going downhill, one must repent and ask God and loving ones in the Christian family for help and guidance. But are they available or qualified?

Deborah
If we remember the act, have we truely forgiven. Some have said that we haven't. We are only human, so we must think in the way of the Spirit. Love the sinner and hate the sin. We can forgive and love the sinner. When it comes to the sin we must pray and ask God to help us forget. Everytime we remember something that has happened bad to us, we should just bind the thought up immediately and give it to Christ. I do think we should also have discernment when it come to the sinner. As we are ministering to them, we must make sure they have a sincere heart. Now for the ones that may hold something towards us, thinking they are in the right when we know it was wrong, we need God's help on this. Forgiveness maybe only a one way street in some cases. We still need to pray that God will open their eyes and soften their heart. We just need to take everything to God and He will help us to forgive and forget to the best of our abilities as humans. The Holy Spirit is our helper and we must lean on Him.

Your sister in Christ,
Dora
Deborah,
God is always available to help although we may not know how to reach out and receive His help.
Loving ones in the body qualified and available...? That depends on the part of the Christian body you belong too.

What if "A healthy mind forgets" is said in the context of, "My healthy mind has forgoten the point you were trying to make in our conversation or email" ?
Our pastor just gave a wonderful message about forgiveness. In it he made a distinction between forgiving and forgetting. Forgiveness does not require that we forget, he explained. It requires that we release ourselves and the other person from the bondage and ties of expected repayment and turn that over to God. Through God's work in us, we gradually experience things differently and are healed from the wound over time (or in some cases very quickly).

In fact, he went on to say, to forget that someone has violated your boundaries or your life in someway is not only unwise to pretend it didn't happen, but it also sets the other person up to re-commit the sin again because we are not acting in accordance with where they really are in their life right now. To gain trust, one must demonstrate trustworthiness. For us to grant trust where it has not been demonstrated is a set up (intentional or not).

Bottom line: forgiveness allows us to release the person and the event into God's hands so that healing might begin for us... and if and when the other person is willing... for them as well. Does forgiveness mean that we do not hold ourselves and others accountable for our actions? No. Just the opposite. Out of love we are willing to hold ourselves and others accountable to God and to instill the proper boundaries in our life that keep us and others less likely to sin.

Christopher
Also, the whole concept of burning bridges is something that I think is neeed.
How can we really, truly walk in forgiveness if we are constantly remembering, thinkng about and dwelling about our past? If you forgive someone we should move on, forget about it and not let it be brought up again.

Daniel Dykes said:
Lisa,

I do believe it's healthy to forget because when I think of how God forgives us, He says that He throws it as far as to the east as to the west and remembers it no more. This is powerful because as Christians we tend to hold grudges, which the Bible calls unforgiveness and bitterness. That is unhealthy. When we forgive that is a conscious decision of our own. Now I believe the only way that we are able to forget and be healthy is through casting our cares on Jesus and allowing Him to bring the restoration. The way I look at Christ is that He is our Great Physician that brings the healing of not just physical ailments but also of the hurtful words and actions that people do on a daily basis. Like you said it's not like putting yourself back into the boxing ring to get hit some more, but we are taking ourselves out of that condition and atmosphere. When we do this is when I believe we are truly operating in the love of Christ. Thank you Lisa for bringing this to the surface. It gives us something to ponder on and think of, what would Jesus do?
The idea of completely forgetting something has happened as a sign of forgiveness may not always equate

As an example, I watched the rape of my babysitter when I was young, by her father, who then turned and attempted to murder me. I have a friend whose face was partially blown off by the intentionally malicious act of another person. For both him and me it's not that we forget what happened to us because the evidence of those moments are forever etched in our bodies. What we do is remember in a different light -- one of gratitude that we're alive -- in the mindset of prayer for those who were so out of alignment with God's love that they did what they did -- one of asking God to utilize these experiences we had to bless the lives of others and ourselves -- one of asking for the pain of all people who suffer to be transformed into the power of God's healing touch.

Have I forgiven the man who did what he did to me and his daughter? Yes, without equivocation because I have lovingly released him into God's care. Will those memories still come up for me? Yes. And when they do, I continually lay them at God's feet so that they might be consecrated for His purpose. My memory of those moments has, through God's work, been the source of tremendous compassion, healing, and service for me and others. If, in God's will, those memories disappear, I will be grateful (and they certainly have come up less and less over the years). But in the meantime, I am most grateful for the healing power of forgiveness that releases us (according to His timing) from the bondage of such moments and set us free to live lives of fullness and joy.

It is not necessarily in forgetting that forgiveness takes place. Sometimes it is in remembering, but doing so in the context of God's loving grace.

~ Christopher

I just said to my sister...

 

Imagine how much good would come if people would do two things...

 

Say, "I am sorry."

 

And, forgive.

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