I was flipping through the channels the other day, and I came across the Tyra Banks show, which is a talk show geared toward my generation of youth in their teen and 20's. She had a group of "popular" and "unpopular" girls on the show, and the unpopular girls were talking about how the popular ones had hurt them by gossiping about them/making fun of them, and vice versa. Anyway, Tyra said something that really struck me, that was "There will always be popular and unpopular. That's life." Keep in mind this is a secular TV show. While that may ring true for non-Christians, does there really have to be tension between people in the Christian community? I thought God didn't see one person as better than another so why should we? Sure, some people may have more than others or be more educated than others, but when you really boil it down, we're all just people. One thing that I dislike as a Christian or just as a person is gossip. Honestly, I thought gossip was something that ended in high school, but, according to Tyra's statement it seems that's not the case. As Christians, should we be gossiping about people? I think the answer is a resounding no. Yet, I have seen Christians gossiping too. I think everyone, even non-Christians, should try to be "the better person" and stop the gossip already. I mean, it's not high school anymore :)

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  • Jerry, thank you for your input.

    When I say gossip, what I am really referring to is when someone talks about someone so that other people can hear or even the person they are talking about can hear. To me that is just not a nice thing to do.

    I agree that non-Christians use any fault of a Christian as an excuse to not believe in God. Non-Christians should seek God for themselves by reading the Bible or asking God to show himself to them. No one can really "prove" God to another person, and I believe that the only real proof of God is when something happens to a person/situation that is so miraculous that the only explanation can be God.
  • You hit the nail on the head when you said we "should try." Gossip is one of the sins that continues to remind us of our fallen human nature. That is why Jesus had to die on a cross. That is why Jesus blood continues to cover our sins, even the ones that we haven't committed yet. Every once in a while I see the bumper sticker that says, Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven." That is so true. But we also have to do what you said, "try". We will never be perfect and I am so glad that God provided a way out of the penalty of our sins. Won't it be nice when we get to heaven and there is NO gossiping!

    Sometimes when I hear people criticize Christians because they sin, and then use that as an excuse not to be a Christian I realize how much our testimony effects others. What we have to keep reminding ourselves and those who aren't Christians is that we don't worship Christians or Christianity; we worship a holy and perfect God. Someone who is what none of use could ever be or even come close to being. We should be able to admit our sins even to those who aren't Christians and then say, "yeah, your right. I too struggle with sin just like the rest of the world. But I have found out how to deal with my sin. Would you like to learn how you can deal with yours."
    Jerry Hartman
  • On a lighter side...
    Ever hear the comment: "I'm not gossiping, I'm sharing a prayer request!"
    This may sound funny at first, but when one stops to think about it, isn't that what we do at times?
    I have found a good rule of thumb to use is this:
    If the person you are talking to isn't involved with the situation, it's gossip.
    When it comes to problems within the church, I have a saying I like to use:
    "Stop whining, and Start dining!"
    The world tells us we have one of two choices, but I disagree. I believe there is always a third choice; and that's to rejoice in the fact that God is going to use the situation for HIS glory, and (y)our benefit.
  • "A good person produces good from the good treasure of his heart, and an evil person produces evil from an evil treasure, because the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart." - Luke 6:45

    This is a constant reminder to me to listen to what I am saying because it is evidence of the source from which I am speaking (my selfish ideas or the wisdom of the Spirit).
  • Mo, I like that Bible verse, that about sums up what God thinks about gossip I think. I like the Admiral Rickover quote as well.

    Lisa, I know what you mean. Just going to the pastor and explaining what you didn't like about the service is helpful, instead of gossiping about it. However, I guess that's also why there's so many churches to choose from, so you can find the one that's right for you :-)

    I think gossipers, in relation to the church and just everyday life, don't realize how much words can hurt people. I think words can hurt more than physical pain to be honest. Because physical pain goes away, but what you say about/to people stays with them. Of course, we've all said not so nice things about people, because we're human. If we were perfect we'd be God. But I think we as Christians should set an example by not gossiping about people.
  • Exactly. Unfortunately it still happens. I hate it when I hear of people who I know are serious Christians speak critical things of the church and/or the worship team. It makes their Sunday prescence seem like a show. Why can't we be tolerant of worship leaders we don't like, give time for the sound man to work things out, or make room for the pastor to be himself? I don't like these things either but that doesn't mean I have to grumble about it. It helps that sometimes I have an understand of what happened behind the scenes to cause the problem. However, if you've got a complaint can't you take it to the one in charge of that area and let them explain the situation? Some things are battles not worth fighting let them go, be quiet, and go on.
  • Valia - Community Tech Support said:
    Mo, I never thought of it that way! I guess gossiping and the whole popular/unpopular battle is actually a selfish sin because a lot of people that gossip are talking about things they are lacking in their own life. I always thought that some people gossip simply because they're bored. I'm also a computer nerd, and gossip always bored me. I'd rather talk about things that matter like politics, religion, etc. Basically things people talk about on this site!

    Hi Valia,

    You bring up a good point. Some people do gossip because they are bored and I was addressing the scenario of jealousy or envy.

    Most people who gossip out of "boredom" are really saying "I have nothing I find interesting to say about my life, so let me tell you about what I believe I know is going on in others lives". This is equally as bad, because one is often compelled to provide information that is confidential or to embellish the truth.
    .
    1 Timothy 5:13 addresses gossiping due to boredom. "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." This portion of scripture is refering to young widows, but anyone who has idle time can fall into this gossip trap. What do you think the water coolers are for in the office?!? lol.

    I had to go dig up a quote that I loved about the subject just to share - (I hope this one states the correct person who said it) It seems to ring true for how we perceive the people who are starting a discussion:

    "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." --Admiral Hyman G. Rickover
  • Mo, I never thought of it that way! I guess gossiping and the whole popular/unpopular battle is actually a selfish sin because a lot of people that gossip are talking about things they are lacking in their own life. I always thought that some people gossip simply because they're bored. I'm also a computer nerd, and gossip always bored me. I'd rather talk about things that matter like politics, religion, etc. Basically things people talk about on this site!
  • As a computer geek, I am inclinded to simply answer that all problems are user problems. Take the user out of the equation and the system will perform as expected.

    That is true for things like popularity and gossip. The people in the equation are the problem. For example: If I perceive that because you have more/better, do more/better, give more/better or in any way are better than me, then that - to me - looks like you are more popular than me. If I perceive you are more popular than me, I feel compelled to leveling the playing ground by gossiping about you to bring you down to a level below where I see myself.

    That does not have to be your perception or anyone else's, but because it is mine, I can repeat it until I begin to convence others of it's truth. So now, not only am I sinning, but I am causing others to sin also. Pretty ugly stuff.

    This is what happens when Christians take our eyes off God and start looking around to see what others are doing. Is God blessing them more than me? Why can they aspire and I can't? What about me? Why didn't I get that position, job, child, spouse, attention, etc. ? When we start comparing ourselves with others, we loose focus of those things God has in mind for us.

    Sad to say, but gossip, jealousy, envy and lying are not just for high school girls. They are selfish sins and they can creep in quickly to any Christian's life when we forget whose trip we are on.
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