If you pay a price for something, sometimes you get back change. What if your change is more than you actually paid AND the cashier refuses to take any of the change back? This is what I experienced today-
My Kingdom Journey is only just begun- and I will say that, if God still wills me to work these fields, a hundred years from now- it is always only just begun because the journey is so deep it never ends. Today, I did not learn anything new so much as I saw and experienced the truth of the Word- Love God- this is all you need to do- through that pursuit of His love He will, whether you want it or not, bless you. Today, I sought only to love Him because of the blessing I have been given long before I was born, entry into His Kingdom for this simple price- Love God. You die and you live. You surrender and you are freed.
Here is what happened to me today-
Today has been a day-
Yes it has-
Things are really not going well as far as our car issues are concerned- we did manage to get our stuff out of our totaled car, but it doesn’t look like we will be able to get a comparable quality vehicle to the one we lost. Our other car is still in the shop. The tab is at $500 and counting. Don’t know where that will land until sometime tomorrow.
We had to go do things I hate doing. We had to go to the Notary and get our old title notarized then drive somewhere about 40 minutes away to a place we haven’t been to before to get the stuff out of our car and drop off the title so we can get our payout quicker.
So…..in the natural, not much to be grateful for here. Life….sucks. Yea, I said it, life sucks.
But I decided today to keep doing what I have been doing, to pursue God, to love Him. Even though life sucks (and today, man, it really sucks) I am still walking in the actualization of the cross and the empty tomb. I am still LOVING God for the awesome blessing he ALREADY gave me before this day began, before I ever turned to Him, before my life began.
This is what I focused on. I experienced some dip into depression. Getting the call from the mechanic that the car wasn’t fixed, the electrical problem is still not solved and the price of fixing it will only go up, was highly discouraging, especially after an initial report that it would be $500 and the car would be ready.
But this is where we truly walk in Christ, in James 1- Consider it pure JOY to suffer hardships (some translations say temptations) of many kinds….
I know in the scheme of things car problems might not be as major as losing a loved one or having a critical health issue, etc….but it is significant enough for me in the here and now, a significant enough of a temptation to allow my life to be governed by this feeling in the natural…..life sucks.
So as I dipped into ‘life sucks’, I renewed my commitment to live as an all-in worshiper of God, who ALREADY blessed me with treasures that make all of the vagaries of this world insignificant. If each misery, each setback, each hardship was another million dollars towards paying off my debt to Christ, I would end my run here on earth overwhelmingly in debt. If I were Job himself I would still end my run overwhelmingly in debt.
But thankfully, the King of Kings only wants one payment from me, and even that payment serves me right here and now in the middle of my ‘life sucks’ experience. This payment is this- love God.
So I am practicing the presence of God, of Loving God. I dipped into the valley, and my wife came home. When she came home, I was still in the grip of the valley of ‘life sucks’. I saw her and I knew she was in that valley too. I knew who I was in God’s Kingdom right there, I was a husband, Christ to the body. She was the body.
When Christ was suffering his spiritual and physical pains, He cried out in love- Father, Forgive them. He walked in love of the Father. So I too, in my pipsqueak suffering, needed to walk in love. My wife, loving her as I do, through Christ, helped me without even trying, even knowing it. The joy of serving others is how much they serve you.
So I loved God, I loved my wife and I commanded my body to reject the valley of ‘life sucks’ and smile, and show….happiness…joy. I told my wife we were going on a great adventure and we would have fun.
At first, I was playing the part of a happy, optimistic person, but not for long. Soon, the Holy Spirit took over and filled me with love, with joy in our adventure.
We had a wonderful drive talking to each other, sharing our pursuit of the Kingdom together. We talked mostly about Jena’s preparation to be a more complete, more visible reflection of the Kingdom of God at work.
We got to the place and found it with no problem. We drove through a literal downpour where, at times, we could hardly see the road. But we drove in joy. My wife struggled at times, dipping in the valley of ‘life sucks’ but coming out of it. I was leading the way Christ commands husbands to lead, by going first into battle and showing her the way out of that natural valley and onto the mountains of the Kingdom of God.
I was happy. I was filled with joy. My wife looked beautiful. It was like we were on a date and not trying to get ugly, difficult things done.
We stopped at a diner to eat. It was a lovely diner, unusual. The décor was awesome. They had a big giraffe and a big gorilla, a cool game room (though we didn’t play the games). We indulged ourselves and ordered steak. We were having a date.
We talked about the Kingdom, about growing together in the Kingdom, of identifying our roles in the Kingdom and learning how to serve one another in our roles and finding, together, our unique shared roles in the Kingdom as a husband and wife.
We had a cooky waitress named Caitlin (with an I and not a Y she would point out). I was silly and excited about everything. I was excited about lemonade and corn rolls. Caitlin could feel my excitement and she became highly animated and excited in her interactions with me as well.
At the end of our meal, I asked Caitlin if I could share something with her. I asked her if she thought I was an optimistic, happy person. She said yes it seemed I was, it definitely seemed like I was. I told her I wanted her to know something. Right now, my wife and I are going through a very trying time. Things are not going well for us at this moment, but I am still happy and filled with joy. And I want to share with you why I am so happy.
She seemed more scared than anything, wondering what I might say. So I told her that I was filled with joy because I made a commitment to love God in everything I do even when things were going wrong, and in so doing, I have been filled with joy by loving God. I told her it was my love for Jesus and what He did for me that I have been lifted up, that I just wanted her to know that and take that with her.
Caitlin didn’t open any doors to me to speak more to her about the Kingdom, and I could feel a check in my spirit that I had done what God wanted me to do, that was the seed He wanted me to plant.
I loved Caitlin, in Christ, and I am even now praying that the seed becomes a branch in the vine.
I chose, I consciously chose to reject the valley of ‘life sucks’, and in so doing I was blessed with leading my wife out of the valley of ‘life sucks’, I was blessed with love and insane over-the-top joy when I should have been miserable and depressed.
I am filled with God’s love. I am filled with joy. All Christ asks of me in exchange for the blessing He already gave me, entry into His Kingdom, is to love Him, and when you love Him, when you really make that love of Him your focus, you are even more blessed. It is as if I got to a toll at a turnpike and gave the attendant 2 dollars. That’s the price for getting onto the free roads. The attendant takes my two dollars and gives me back 200 dollars AND lets me go onto the free roads.
Consider it pure JOY to suffer temptations, hardships……love God, no matter what….not to make it easy on you, not to get you a new car, not to bless you, but because He ALREADY HAS blessed you. Despite all of your best efforts to pay Him back as he commands, to love Him, you will never be able to give more than you receive.
I thank God once again for another glorious day in my walk with Him. It is as if I am being embraced from head to toe with His love. He gave me a blessed night. He allowed me the honor, the privilege, the awe of being His hands and feet, serving my wife as a husband leading her into battle, and serving one of his lost sheep, Caitlin, by offering a seed of life.
It has been a blessed day. Praise God.
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